Woman’s Month Recipe: Fried Seminal Fluid Sacks. (So men are at least are good for something…)


Fish eggs. Salmon. Sturgeon. Flying fish. Sublime delicacies all, each with their own salty, seductive flavor and sensual, creamy texture.

Raw with sour cream and blini or slices of red potato (baked for the caviar, thick chips instead for salmon.) As sushi. Or combined with other ingredients, say, lightly steamed scampi meat. Even the sacks of lesser known eggs are breaded and fried, maybe near the sea – if you’re lucky enough to live there, next to waves and salt – and chomped on, good and crunchy, with a cold beer to wash down the dish. Ahhh. But. There’s something better.

Creamier, almost melting in your mouth, and a delicate, sort of milky sweetness: seminal fluid sacks. That’s right. Sperm.  Yesterday for the first time I made fried milt, not knowing what it was, and ate it with a girl friend. Marvelous, breaded in kamut flour and grated lemon rind with a bit of green-tea salt. When today I asked our fish dealer just where milt comes from, she explained: “sacks of seminal fluid. The eggs are from the females, the milt….” To which my friend said “Oh. So men are at least good for something….”  

It’s a straight up fry, no real instructions required – just don’t shove anything into the oil until it’s hot enough – use a crumb of bread or something to make sure. The oil should bubble asap – never too much stuff into the pan at once, keep it proportional and the temperature of the oil constant. But not too high, lower the heat if it starts to smoke or whatever it is you’re cooking is browning too fast. You want things to cook, not burn on the outside while remaining raw within. Fish egg and seminal fluid sacks are wet – hey, let’s keep a clean mind here – so just flour to coat, and always shake off any excess. Once the sacks are browned though, strain well and salt right away. Fantastic stuff, good with sweet potatoes fried as a side and if you want some sort of acidic sauce – I like pineapple mixed in the blender with then a bit of fresh ginger juice and soy, but it’s very optional here. And let the fluid sacks cool a little before shoving them in your mouth – the fluid inside gets really hot and if you try to eat them too quick you’ll burn your tongue.. (and hey again, let’s keep a clean mind here, even though…) Then you can…. swallow….(ouch.)

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